The Secrets to Managing Anger in a Healthy Way

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One of the emotions that people feel during a divorce or breakup is anger. Anger is a healthy emotion, but like everything else in life, excessive, explosive anger can quickly spiral out of control, leading to severe consequences for careers, relationships and health.

There could be many instances in a day that can trigger anger. It could be at work or home. Fact of the matter is that it is perfectly okay to express your anger but it is not okay to act on it. When your partner dumps you,  anger is a perfectly natural response in such situations.

However, trouble arises when the anger is deep, resentful and out of control, causing you to lash out at the people in your life.

However, it is possible to reign in this powerful emotion without acting out in destructive ways.


Dealing With Anger, the Healthy Way!

Repressing anger can be just as unhealthy as blowing the casket. Research reveals that women who stay quiet during—for instance—marital dispute, die from heart disease, faster than others who speak their part.

The study was conducted with 4000 participants—men and women— from Framingham, Mass. The subjects were asked how they reacted in marital disputes.

32 percent men and 23 percent women stated that they “bottled up their feelings during a marital spat”.

According to a report in Psychosomatic Medicine, while this did not affect men; women who failed to speak up in the argument were “four times as likely to die during the 10-year study period as women who always told their husbands how they felt”.

Here what you can do to ensure a healthier response, even when you are angry.


1. Pause When Upset

Blog22Anger bring along an adrenaline surge that leads to impulse lashings of rage.  Whenever you feel the rush to shout out in fury, quiet down. Take a few breaths and silently feel the anger going through you. This is also so that you can decide what to do or say next, so the situation doesn’t get any worse because of your behaviour.


2. Take Time Cool Off

If you need more time to deal with feelings of anger, consider retreating to another room or a quiet place that help you turn the calm back on and lower stress levels. Use this time constructively and meditate or practice yoga to restart your system.


3. Only Address the Anger When You Have the Time

Yes, ignore it! It is a feeling just like hunger, sleepiness, thirst, etc. All these feelings start to get more intense once we acknowledge their presence. Make time to figure out what makes you angry and then deal with the feeling effectively ensuring that you have a compassionate response to those in line of your anger.


Own The Emotion: Get Professional Help!

Remember the goal of learning anger management is to own your response to the moment, ensuring that the emotion doesn’t own you.

As a life transition coaching service, we bring you a wealth of trainings and resources that provide you with the tools and skills you need to deal with feelings such as anger, effectively. Get in touch with us today to learn more!

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AUTHOR - Simon K Aidoo

Simon K Aidoo former Roman Catholic priest with several years of experience in guiding people through different complex life transitions. Simon is also know as UK's best transition planning consultants, has great experience in retirement transition planning, divorce transition planning, life transitions coaching, coping with relationship breakup, organisational transition consultancy and more.

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