On 26th June 1979 my maternal grandfather was kidnapped on his way to evening church service and murdered in a cold blood. Up till now, we have not been able to establish the motive for his killing. A year before his death, he had promised to do everything he could to help me achieve my dream. His murder not only put my future in doubts but also I had to deal with the fact that I woke him up and told him that the church bell had been towed. To make matters worse, someone who had dedicated his whole life to the service of the church did not even had a priest to conduct his burial service. The reason being that the priest was busy- having a parish meeting. So I had to deal not only with the loss of my granddad but also with the mental agony of the fact that I was the one who woke him up and made him aware that it was time for church, why did God not save him from being killed, and what is the point of dedicating one’s life to the church if one cannot receive fitting Christian burial when one died?
Following his death, I experienced something that I could not lay my finger on nor had the words to make sense of it to myself let alone to make sense to somebody else. Physically, I looked well but emotionally, I was dying or been torn apart. As someone puts it “I was bleeding without an injury.” .Things that I used to take delight in, lost their appeal. I suffered mood swings. I had suicidal thoughts etc. I visited the hospital several times and had all sorts of treatments but none of them helped. The only thing that saved me was the first Biblical text I had read in Church “all things work together for good for those who love God”. So whenever I felt the urge to commit suicide, I would tell myself, if I killed myself, I would not know the good from this situation so I must hang in there.
When I eventually came out of this terrible experience, I decided to research into what I had been through; and to find a way of helping those who might be going through a similar experience. The result is “Coaching transitions” a unique methodology to help individuals to transform their life changing event into a catalyst for creating something better. Transition affects your emotional and mental health in a way you can hardly imagine. It also affects you physically and spiritually. Change engenders transition and transition is difficult for a number of reasons which you can find in my blog titled “11 reasons why life transition is so difficult.